Saturday, December 18, 2010

Bonnard's Nudes by Raymond Carver


His wife. Forty years he painted her.
Again and again. The nude in the last
painting the same young nude as the first.
His wife.

As he remembered her young.
As she was young.
His wife in her bath. At her dressing
table in front of the mirror. Undressed.

His wife with her hands under her breasts
looking out on the garden.
The sun bestowing warmth and color.

Every living thing in bloom there.
She young and tremulous and most desirable.
When she died, he painted a while longer.

A few landscapes. Then died.
And was put down next to her.
His young wife

When This Boat Comes


When this boat comes,
its boatsman will take my
coin, dulled by the years
and I will wonder about all the ways
I never took.

I'll give every missed one
a fine name, a music in the mouth,
tending, as all lost chances do,
to the last tick of anyones clock.

And when done, the coin in his pocket, I'll abandon need and find only this pier, this boatsman... this boat.


my website

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Heavens For The Devil

Like puppets strung here and there in the tree, long-legged twigs, grasshoppers really...four boys. They lick the winds, relish the tempest, savor the electrics. Great storms alive, it's coming their way!

The air wears the perfume of squall and with it, ionized cotton candy, mixed with some loam of cowardice and the mint of plowed under corn. They make ready for the coming gale. Four boys, one tree and a very electric storm indeed!

The test? Simple. To pass, you have to remain, the four of you, tree-bound until the storm is behind you.

Been awhile since Pennsylvania had such an electrical storm.

And this the first!

But something shudders deep and different with this storm's approach. Nothing is like these tentacles, these ions, these amps edging close, audacious ohms, the voltage potent, ripe with menace and peril. Boys sniff the air, what with the homecoming of cyclones, carnivals, their dark taunt and tease...a match to the very tinder of summer itself. This is, after all...the test.

You think you man up. A rite of psychosis, really, fashioned from the marriage of dynamos and devils...the spoils of malady itself. Allen Crenshaw, Bill and Taylor Melton... you. The four of you, against the great storm electric. The malediction. Here.

Now.

You're lashed to the tree, the rage spasms, your voice lost... you dare not run, you dare not leap to the safety of earth. No, treebound, great coils of fevered light explode all about you; you're stitched to the branches, sewn to the leaves, roped to the bough. Malignant devices lurch, stagger, scrape against you, tree branches whipping like thumping lanyards of a dying ship. Sails flay and shred to ribbons, your breath torn by the thieving gale. Panic takes you, your crotch is wet with cold urine. You're a punk. You want to leap, run home, just a short block away.

But you don't.

Because...they don't.


You don't run, and these spooling electrics, these maelstroms prime from the fiercest blacks you can imagine; your guts spill to the gallows and you're going to give up like the punk sissy you are. Aren't you?

But wait...

The storm... it

hesitates...

Pall bearers whisper obscenities in your ear. It sniffs at your crotch, loiters uninvited. Ever the trickster, it dries the wind, sends the storm spit westward. You want to believe it's west of you, lessening, yes, but no, your confidence so... incontinent. You pray, god damn it, you pray. Does it pass you by, the first gruesome storm of the season? Or does it continue it's terrible game of Tag... and you've become it?


It shunts. Staggers

Done.

A walking melancholy, ever the charlatan, it masquerades like some good humored breeze. The four of you know better.

You can't look to Allen Crenshaw, Bill and Taylor Melton. Shame's in the freckled blood, grimed with spit staining your faces. The four of you scatter to the playful breeze, but you know it's anything but playful.

You don't talk to each other....nearly a week
And the day, you never mention it again.


Monday, September 13, 2010

Forty Mile Town

The chalk dust from the ancient sea bed blew thin, vaporous across the miners shack. It found a way past the shingles, the tin siding, past the broken window pane and into the cupboards, the mouth and teeth of one Artemus G. Morton. To Mr. Morton,
a combination of whiskey and sand grit represented itself as a sort of mouthwash... dental hygiene if you like.
Artemus, a drifter miner from Earth and recluse extraordinaire, first came to my store the year before the great Earth war and had staked a claim to a small patch of iron rich hillside south of Forty Mile Town. As was his convention, exactly every three months, Artemus came to my store to pick up supplies; sundries mostly, such as hard tack, salt, mining supplies and....of course, his Martian whiskey.
I was fond of Artemus. But in this matter, I resided in the minority. To say that Artemus didn't have much want for social conventions such as bathing and the like would have constituted a mild understatement. His thick red beard was home and favored host for a great many sand fleas and beetles found around these parts. Upon sight of such collections, most citizens found a comfortable distance more to their liking.
As one could discover, conversations with Artemus would usually come in the form of mutterings with words that whistled phonetically past gaps in his teeth. His thick miner's body creaked more like dry saddle leather
and his errant left eye was a might disconcerting. Lord knows I espouse such virtues as bathing and good trimming would provide. But he had been mining, south of Forty Mile such that change did not appear in the offering.
Nonetheless, I liked the man.
I last saw Artemus as he happened into town for his spring resupply. I remember because he came in early a few days. His "mature" truck (as he liked to call the old beater) rattled, wheezed coming to a stop in the red dust of the street. As he walked through the door, he struck off the miner's dust from his hat. His right eye twinkled and he appeared unusually animated. His dry leather body creaked quickly across the wooden floor to the counter.
"Seen 'em, I did."
Silence.
"Seen who Artie?" I replied, distracted by my cash register chores.
"Them Martians."
I chuckled.
"Yeah, right."
"Nah, Gif, I seen 'em. Talked to 'em as well."
In the excitement of the moment, air whistled past his teeth.
More excitement and more whistling.
"Gif, now we been friends for near twenty- three years, right?"
"Right."
"Now I'm telling you, I saw them Martians 'an I talked to one."
I set the coins back into the drawer.
This was a new topic of conversation for he and I.
I closed the drawer.
I looked at the man, his eye sparkling.
I also considered the twenty-two plus years the man had spent in those red iron hills, eking
out his paltry grub stake. No company, just the thin Martian air and a dog named Mange. I wondered...was the loneliness beginning to close up around the old man?
"Artie, they've been dead and gone for over a thousands years. Hell, you been to their cities...you know that."
He stammered, angry now, staring at his boots, shuffling back and forth. His fists closed, gnarled tight, like clubs.
He stared up at me, his good eye burning bright with anger.
"Tall, Gif, taller than you, and thin, thin as the air, with eyes made of copper. You thinks I'm crazy from the wind 'an maybe I am a little, but I saw 'em and spoke to one."
His fist slammed the counter, his eye ablaze and he turned suddenly on his heels, out the door and into the orange sky. The old truck sputtered, shook, came to life, with smoke, fumes and fury. He drove the truck south until it became part of the orange dust. I returned to counting the days tally.
I felt bad for rousing the old fart. But Lord know, he was inflamed already, what with a head full of idiotic notions. Martians and him meeting, talking to them... Christ.
I played with the idea of calling Doc Millard. But after rolling the idea around in my head, I dropped it. Nothing was going to undo all those lonely years. How do you help a man that's been held to that kind of friendless hell? Men need the company of others, a charitable woman perhaps, to counter that terrible stillness that's Mars. Men need towns, church socials, saloon laughter. Artie was a victim to that aching quiet that lays down in your bones...a quiet that drives your thoughts to wander in a bad, bad way.
Mars can make you go mad.
Conversations with two thousand year old dead Martians... Christ, poor Artie.
Oh, I know what you're thinking... the machines are still working. Martian machineries making thin air thick, cities that carry on, repairing themselves, functioning with Swiss watch perfection. Canals with transparent waters, streets cleaned everyday.
But what of the builders, the engineers, the poets, authors... the Martians themselves?
Dead.. .all of them.
Long dead and we all knew it.
Ghosts.
I finished the count and closed the drawer. Closed it on more than just the count.
I wondered when I'd see that crazy miner again.
I liked Artemus G. Morton.
I really did.


Thursday, September 9, 2010

The Whetstone

The Whetstone


Much could be said for a select edge.
Such was the need for a good stone.
A knife blade, a whittle stick, a fickle hoe.
All for the want of a good stone.

From his left pocket
came the worn whetstone; its center
curved, worn and dark with oil.
When done, back to the pocket.

It's use meant renewal, deliberate
that both stone and metal gave some,
both shaped by the other...
Some a beginning, some an end.

Dad would finish his life
with that stone.
Made the end of any day
seem ample and done.
He left me a fine sharpness
and no less...
my inheritance

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Marbles

A Jim Heynen Look Alike...."Marbles"

Boys gathered,five of them, knees to the dust, a loose dirt circle beneath the Sacramento sun. Each had a green felt bag, long as your hand, round as your wrist, topped with a gold drawstring. And in each bag, a blend of very unique marbles, a secret combination really... of cat eyes, steelies, ducks and taws.
For more than a few reasons, the older boys kept their prized marbles out of the game, safely in their felt bags. These elite marbles, treasures from a pharaoh, could not be trifled with or lost to a simple game. They were the cool swirlies, marbles marked for greatness, orbs melted and formed, some black hour, the glass....the magic. The more the rarified the tint, the blush, the more cherished the marble.
As governed by unseen rule and sacrament, the oldest set and managed the game, drawing a three foot circle in the dust. All participants would drop their marbles in the ring. A few would collide, coming to rest close to the circles arc... fair pickings. It began.
As in any dark conspiracy, the older boys always set their sights on the younger. Long piano fingers sent steelies thumping ducks. A storm of vicious accuracy would commence and by the end of the game, the youngest boy had lost all of his marbles. There seemed only a sick vacancy to the moment. The oldest, a skinny blonde freckled from summers light, chortled, leaning over the runts face, baring a sneering grin and all the runt could manage was a downcast look, tears welling in his eyes. As dictated by ancient doctrine, this was a game of keepsies, not quitsies, the older boy uttered. Marbles found new bags, new owners... the law.
Save for the oldest and the youngest, three of the boys rose, formed into dust devils and were gone. The oldest looked down at the runt. In his long piano fingers, purposely, so that the runt could see, he spun the metallic killer, his favorite shooter, his fine steelie taw. That's when the sneer became something else.
Looking around, to make sure no one was watching, the older boy quickly reached into his pocket, dropping the runts marbles back in the circle and became another dust devil.
In shock, the runt stared at the marbles. He pinched his eyelids in disbelief. Relief came in the slow draw of his breath. That's when he, too, looked around to make sure no one was watching. He gathered the seven marbles, being careful to place them all, including his favorite red and white devils eye, his taw, back into the green felt bag. He clinched the gold drawstring tight. He rose and like the others, became both dust and devil.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

I Know This Familiar Road

A Pale Restless

Let me taste the heat and thunder
of your imaginings
Let me stir beneath your hands.
Let the seasons render
our fevered covenants.

Let me arc in circles to your touch.
Like a dreamlock...undone.
Let me, for a time, burn deep in
the ripest flame you hold.
And not permit the years.

Allow me the gathering of memories,
your pale and blond breeze against my cheek and
reluctant,
I'll turn the doorknob,
your voice now
dimming
in the
radio
across
the
street.